Tuesday, June 01, 2010

A Weekend with the SKABBs

The Saturday Kaffeeklatsch and Ay-Rab Baiters' Brigade (that's the SKABBs) want you all to know they had a delightful weekend.

If you're unfamiliar with the SKABBs, let me introduce you. They're the group of aging Muslim-haters in Toronto who like to head downtown on weekends to taunt brown folks. Their little outings all follow pretty much the same agenda.

a) Load up the video cameras, banners, and paper-maché cruise missiles
b) Go find a bunch of Muslims- at a parade, or a demonstration, or even a quiet social celebration in a park.
c) Taunt them. Yell at them. Brandish your camera in their faces. Take their pictures.
d) Repeat (c) until someone reacts. A shouted insult. A Nazi salute. Make sure you capture the reaction on camera.
e) Race home, breathing hard and panties moist, and post excitedly about your Brush With Death, and how HORRIBLE those Muzzies are, and how AWFUL the anti-Zionist police are for not arresting them all, and what event are we going to crash next weekend?

This weekend's taunting was especially exciting because Blazing Cat Fur, Mr. Kathy Shaidle himself, got ASSAULTED! That's right! ALL the SKABBs agree! Why, there are most Blogging Tory posts on the ASSAULT against Arnie than about the killing of Flotilla Activists!

And there's video of the ASSAULT!

The SKABBs decided this weekend to annoy folks at an anti-Netanyahu protest sponsored by the "Leftist Islamofascist Alliance" (says Mr. Shaidle. I haven't heard of that particular group, myself).

The video begins with a SKABB sign that reads "Beachhead for Global Jihad". The shot then cuts to a jerky pan of folks with signs, listening to Middle Eastern music.

Then a guy with a beard comes walking across the street, and asks "Who gave you permission to take a picture?"

"I did", says Arnie (I assume it's Arnie. Sounds like he should be chewin' on a plug o' tabaccy.)

"You did? And you claim that you are a big tough guy?"

"Yeah!" says Arnie.

"Yeah, you are?"

"Yeah! How YOU doin', buddy?" says Arnie.

"I didn't give the permission. Go."

"Don't grab the camera", says Arnie.

The camera tilts to a shot of the ground and Arnie takes a couple of steps back. It tilts back up and captures a shot of the guy walking away.

"You can't touch me", says Arnie, sounding smug.

"Go, pussycat", the guy says over his shoulder.

"Bye, Ali Mallah", says Arnie.

"You think you're a tough guy?"

"I AM, Ali, and you're not," says Arnie, with the sophisticated wit his readership has come to expect. Then he giggles. "Gotcha, Ali!" And he giggles some more.

That was the ASSAULT. Two preening, strutting macho jackasses pissing out their turf.

The SKABB sites, of course, are echoing with Arnie's heroism, and with sober counsel from the usual ersatz legalists that Arnie should "sue" for assault. Difficult to tell what he's being advised to "sue" about, since he's tittering throughout the "ASSAULT", and for years has been cheerfully documenting his own slightly creepy fondness for race-baiting.

Had there been an "ASSAULT", Arnie would be photoblogging his boboes and laying charges faster than a five-year old reporting a slight to mommy. After all, there were cops all over the place, and a cloud of sympathetic witnesses. But nothing happened - so as always, the SKABBs up the narrative ante with a little hysteria, sigh contentedly, and plan the next outing.

Dear SKABBS: two suggestions.

a) We all know these little charades are played out primarily for your own entertainment. But next time try editing out all the little giggles and squeals of delight when your provocation works - you're really making it all a bit too obvious. This is especially important if you're going to lard up your subsequent "coverage" with hilarious faux-drama lines like "My Husband Was Unhurt". (No shit, Shaidle - he was giggling.)
b) Why don't you do something useful with your Saturday mornings? Maybe volunteer to teach ESL at Palestine House?

(cross-posted from Stageleft)

1 comment:

Jérôme Bastien said...

thwarp? aren't you the guy who was commenting here about how awesome the guys who blew up a royal bank were?