Michael Mann: "Vehement suspicion of heresy"

The sun has circled the earth many times since the dangerous notion of AGW first surfaced, corrupting the faithful ever since. But the Church of the Immaculate Climate is finally taking sorely-needed action.

"Everybody talks about the weather and nobody does anything about it," said St. Mark, so many years past. Although he was seen in his day as a free-thinking gadfly, the Holy Spirit moved him on that occasion to utter an unassailable truth. Weather is the will of God, and Man opposes the Divine Plan at peril of his immortal soul. Not only can we do nothing about it; we must not dare to try.

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Objection 1. "Weather" is not "climate," and climate may be affected by the work of Man.

I answer that, "Climate" is the weather writ large. If there is no weather, there can be no climate.

It is written in Psalm 148: 8:

lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds...do His bidding

Weather is not ours, but His. We cannot affect what He decides, either for better or for worse.

And as for our feeble attempts to pierce the veil of the future, weather may be predicted, if "through a glass darkly," but climate--weather over a long period of time--is beyond our ken.

For so it is written in Matthew 16: 1-3:

1 The Pharisees and Sadducees came to Jesus and tested him by asking him to show them a sign from heaven.

2 He replied, "When evening comes, you say, 'It will be fair weather, for the sky is red,'

3 and in the morning, 'Today it will be stormy, for the sky is red and overcast.' You know how to interpret the appearance of the sky, but you cannot interpret the signs of the times."

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And so it has come to pass that the suspected heretic Michael Mann, climate scientist, has been handed over to the Inquisition's secular arm, in the person of Ken Cuccinelli, Attorney General of Virginia. The writings of the reprobate are already under careful review by the diocese of Penn State. In a contest of God and Mann, there is only one sure victor.

Under heavy pressure to recant, Mann may yet do so, and for that we pray. But Adam is alive in his flesh: he is proving an obdurate sinner. The righteous wing having risen up, he is now disposed to confirm "minor errors." But his heresy, however altered in minimis, continues: "And yet it warms."

We fervently hope that he will soon make full confession of his grievous departure from the path of righteousness. There is much at stake.