Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Oasis for the war-weary

"The hardcore left is in bed with Islamofacists."some stubble jumping redneck

Damn, they're onto us. May as well come clean and invite them all down to my local pub for a few drinkies. Nothing there will surprise or shock them, as it turns out: it's as though they've been regulars all along. First round's on me.

From the promotional leaflet:

"Tired of the fray? Just want to kick back and exchange war stories with friends and comrades? Join us at Swarthy's, where leftists and Islamofascists can take a break from the struggle and relax in pleasant company.

"We offer a wide selection of powerful potions and potables to whet the palate of the most discerning and seasoned enemies of America. We proudly serve more than three dozen European and British ales and beers for hardcore leftists, and a fine selection of juices, sherbets, soft drinks and near-beers bound to please the most finicky Islamofascist. Our food runs the gamut, from hummus, pita, lamb tagine, maza and donair to fish and chips, steaks, chops, wings--mild, medium and suicide--and a fine assortment of salads. Watch for our luncheon specials. (No pork dishes are served at

"Why not t
ake part in the lively discussions at the bar? Whether it's homosexuality, women's rights, evolution, materialism, capital punishment, democracy or Israel's right to exist, laughter and good fellowship are the order of the day. We provide back rooms for private parties and meetings, and a wide-screen TV with continual Al-Jazeera news reports and commentary, produced by former CBC heavyweights Tony Burman and Avi Lewis. Enjoy the latest defeats of the Great Satan in a warm and welcoming atmosphere.

"Chill out at Swarthy's, where East meets West and every hour is happy hour. We look forward to serving you."

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