Friday, February 05, 2010


One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.

It's official: our new Prime Minister-elect is an onion ring. Let the darkness lift.

As I write, the Facebook group "Can this onion ring get more fans than Stephen Harper?" has attracted twice as many fans as the current non-sitting PM.

It's important to note the contrasting characteristics of the rivals. Onion rings are hot. Harper is not. Onion rings are popular. Harper is not.

Onion rings don't prorogue. They don't defy Parliament, or violate the rights of citizens. Onion rings don't interfere with/destroy independent agencies. Onion rings don't cover up torture. Onion rings don't collect portraits of themselves.

Onion rings are humble. Onion rings can get along with just about anybody
. Onion rings are like us.

But, the naysayers will sneer, why THIS ring? Don't all onion rings--I hesitate to say this about our future leader--taste alike?

The answer is simple: first come, first served. This one gets my vote: let's rush it into office before it gets cold.

And have a nice O-lympics, everyone.

[Disclaimer: the obvious orange colour of The One Ring has nothing to do whatsoever with my enthusiastic support.

Big City Lib]

1 comment:

Mike Brock said...

I have to admit, I'd vote for the onion ring. It would mean nothing would get done. Sweet... nothing.

No new regulations, no budget implementation act (the entire public service would disappear inside of 12 months), no more Mark Holland.

We'd still all owe taxes legally, but really, there'd be nobody collecting it. I'm sure the provinces would rapidly institute revenue agencies and pick up the slack, though. So I doubt most critical services would be unaffected.


I'm ready for Right Honourable Onion Ring.