The Bushgolfi Code

Today's papers carry a fascinating story about the Sistine Chapel. Not to be outdone by The Da Vinci Code, a certain Rabbi Benjamin Blech has written a new book revealing Hebrew letters concealed within Michelangelo's ceiling masterpiece. Deciphering the code, the rabbi has found a "lost mystical message of universal love," left by the artist for the ages to come.

But there is another code to be deciphered, one much closer to home, and I hope that Rabbi Blech can assist. The current President of the US, George W. Bush, has used his own body to produce identifiable Hebrew letters, sending messages in the here-and-now for the generations, one that only a Talmudic scholar could unravel. Given my initial investigations, I hope that all such images can be found and arranged chronologically. They will have to be read backwards, of course, from present to past.

I refuse to speculate as to what these messages might contain. The truth about 9/11? Some latter-day Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion? What we do know is this: they have been almost invariably transmitted while Bush played golf. And he recently announced to a startled world that he had given up the game, offering a completely unbelievable excuse for doing so. Can we conclude that he has completed his occult task?

I offer only a few of the abundant pieces of evidence. Grab your tinfoil and see for yourself.

First, the golf course itself, symbolized by a sand-trap, a possible reference to Moses in the desert:







Then a few letters of the Presidential message:




































Even when he wasn't out on the course, the President feverishly continued to transmit, if only by hand gestures:














Readers are invited to join in this important task of decryption. Together, with the help of the good rabbi, we can leave that faker Dan Brown far behind as we solve what might be the greatest puzzle of the ages. The truth is out there, and it's ripe for the telling.