Suggested statement from Rideau Hall

The Globe & Mail today provided the text of what it considered would have been a better acceptance speech by our new Governor-General. With suitable apologies, here's mine.

Hey, I'm not a lumberjack, or a fur trader.
I'm a Radio-Canada journalist, and a film-maker.
I don't live in an igloo or eat blubber, or own a dogsled.
I have a limousine and a house on Sussex Avenue, and everything's cordon bleu.
And I don't know Jimmy, Sally or Suzy from Canada,
although I'm certain they're really really nice.

I have a Prime Minister, not a president.
(Well, thanks to dual citizenship, I guess I have a president, too, come to think of it.)
I speak English and French and Italian and Spanish and Haitian creole, not American.
And I pronounce it 'about', not 'a boot'.

I would proudly sew my country's flag on my backpack,
if I had a backpack. (Those days are over.)
I believe in peace keeping, not policing,
diversity, not assimilation,
and that the beaver is a truly proud and noble animal.
A toque is a hat, a chesterfield is a couch,
and it is pronounced 'zed' not 'zee', 'zed' !!!!

Canada is the second largest landmass!
The first nation of hockey!
and the best part of North America.
My Québec includes Canada!

My name is Michaëlle!!

AND I AM CANADIAN!!!