Is separatism fa-a-bulous?

On the increasingly surrealistic landscape of Canadian parliamentary politics, same-sex unions and separatist agendas are the ballroom theme as pols writhe and gyrate to the haunting strains of accordion music played skillfully by pundits with too much time on their hands. The pace is revving up, and Stephen Harper, spurned by Gilles Duceppe (whose waltzing skills have vastly improved) is now sitting by himself, a grimacing wallflower making rude remarks about his former partner, now pirouetting on the dance floor with new friends.

It’s not a pretty sight, that scowling man in off-the-rack mortician clothes licking his wounds in public. As the twirling couples while away the hours, Paul Martin and Jack Layton making an impressive political fashion statement all of their own as Jack leads Paul in some unfamiliar steps, one is left to ponder: what makes souverainisme “that way?” What did Harper’s political gaydar reveal?

For separatism, it seems, in some bizarre and subterranean fashion, is indeed a part of the Gay Agenda. It seeks to unite what Harper would put asunder. At the same time it seeks to divide what Harper would keep together. Federalists, he says, are against what some news sources now refer to as SSM (oooh, that sets the mind racing, doesn’t it?). And now he’s sulking in the corner, his manly blue eyes misted over with tears, being an absolute party-pooper, looking like his underwear is too tight.

Come on, Stevie—get down and boogie with the rest of us while there’s still time. You don’t want to go home alone, do you?